I have lost myself
Everytime I look into the cold eyes of the people
Everytime I walk through the dark and wet streets.

And then I asked myself:Is this what I want?
And I always came to same answer:No, it is not!

I notice the possibilities to get deeper in this theoretic world.
I try my best!
But it changes my mind, my way to think, to feel.
So I stand before this basic hole of what I am, again.

Losing freedom, losing time, losing space means the life in the city.
--> I am not I am. <--
I've lost my heart, my strenght, my soul.
All the things, that made me who I am, are gone.

I see myself unable to speak, to break, to stay by my roots.
"Always remind yourself, where come you from!"
This is the comment I tried to fulfill,
but it is impossible, because living here is a symbol for the opposite.

Work, Lonelyness and the luxury of an own flat far away from home
are killing all what I fought for.
Therefore I feel more and more "inner cold" and death.

Maybe I miss my home and cleared nature, the fields and
the smell of the flowers, the trees and the wind.
The free bird is now caught!
I am blinded by all the possibilities and the new rules to fulfill.